It was a perfect fall morning. The Saturday before Halloween,
many places around the area where hosting pumpkin patches- Fishhawk,
Bloomingdale, the local high school, etc.
Somehow we had managed to not make it to a real pumpkin patch this Halloween
season, not because we didn’t want to, but life and other commitments got in
the way. I really, really wanted to go- and this would be our last chance
before Halloween.
Except I had promised my friend Ashanti that I would take
her out to eat and/or to the mall that week. Ashanti is a 14 year old girl I’m
mentoring through the program I Matter Too. I had tried for Thursday but that didn’t
work. I tried Friday and that didn’t work either. The only time that
worked for her was Saturday. In the middle of that stinking, beautiful, cool
day
.
I had a decision to make- spend the day with family on a
pumpkin patch and take those pictures I really wanted to take. Or take Ashanti
to the mall that afternoon. The first thoughts that came to mind were:
What kind of terrible
mother doesn’t take her kids to a real pumpkin patch?
What if I choose to
spend time with Ashanti that afternoon only to have her ignore and look at her
phone the whole time?
It’ll be ok if I wait
and take her another weekend. So what if she’s looking forward to it, she’ll
understand.
But after prayer and talking to Steve about it, we decided
to skip the pumpkin patch and that I would take her out to the mall that
afternoon. I had no expectations of our
time. I prepared myself with prayer that morning, that I would have the
confidence to not regret the decision no matter how our time turned out. Even
if she was having an off day (most of the time we really have a great time),
even if she snapchatted the entire time, even if we didn’t talk about anything
deep or life changing.
And this is how our afternoon turned out:
We had Chipotle, and during lunch found out we are both obsessed
with the ‘The fault in our Stars’. I had just seen it by myself the weekend
before and was so excited I could talk to someone who loved it as much as I
did!
We met a lady with a really fancy English accent and had a
good laugh. The type of laugh that makes you cry.
We walked around stores window shopping and without rushing.
Normally when I’m at the mall I’m making a beeline for the store I need to go,
so I can be in and out as quickly as possible before my kids have a total
meltdown.
We smelt candles. A lot of candles.
We sang together on the ride home. And we showed each other
our favorite songs.
I got to see the world for three hours through the eyes of a
14 year old. There was no mention of poop, sleep training, toddler problems, or
managing keeping the kids alive. I
realized that day, most of my adult conversations these days revolved around
one of the fore mentioned.
We didn’t talk about anything deep or life changing. But in the last 5 minutes of our time together, as I pulled
in to her driveway to drop her off, she opened up about her past. Stuff that
she had never shared with me before, and I knew somehow she had grown to trust
me that afternoon just a little bit more.
The thing is, for months I have been praying for the opportunity to love on someone in
need, even if it came at a cost or sacrifice. But once it was time to make a sacrifice, I didn’t
want to make it. And I rationalized my way out of it pretty easily.
But this year I will always remember the pumpkin patch I
didn’t make it to on that beautiful fall morning before Halloween. Maybe it
would’ve blended in with all the other years we’ve made it to a patch. But I hope I will always remember my time with Ashanti that afternoon.
Last thought: I think pumpkin patches are a great way for a
family to spend time together and am in no way against them. Hope we can make
it to one in Nov or sometime next year!
