Family Update


This social media break has made me realize just how bad I am at writing updates and sending pictures out of the boys. I take them all day long and send them to Steve, but rarely do I post updates for family and friends.

These last few months have been busy and really fun. We have enjoyed the boys so much as they are getting to an age where they are playing better with each other and just have fun together (wrestling, chasing each other, and getting into all kinds of trouble).

In January we took them to the Gasparilla children's parade and they loved it. It was a beautiful day and we had a really fun day with friends.




At the end of January we spent a weekend in Disney with our friends the Clarks and Hardings. The Clark Family has been one of our closest friends for years and we were sad when they moved to North Carolina a little over four years ago. We enjoyed the weekend with all of them for what was Palmer's first time to Disney!





In February my Godmother and her daughter visited from Venezuela. They stayed with us for a few days and they really enjoyed spending time with the boys. My Godmother (Madrina) is like family to me and it was such a treat to have her here.






Right now she is back in Venezuela during a very difficult time the country is going through. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to ask about our family over there. My dad, madrina, family and friends over there are relatively safe from the time being and we are thankful to be able to talk to them regularly. I will be sharing a post on what is happening in Venezuela early next week and some thoughts from my family living there. 

These past few months we have been spending most of our afternoon with our neighbors. A few young families have moved into our street recently and we are so thankful for them! Two families in our street have two boys each- all boys under five yrs and both close to Jack and Palmer's age.

Palmer and Hayes (center) are a few months apart

Fun at the Aquarium


Finding a turtle was really fascinating for all these boys!


Pretending to walk like turtles


Playing an electricity game in our front porch


Afternoon picnic

And I am so thankful for their mamas who are sweet, kind, and quick to help me out when needed. We are able to watch each others boys for appointments and when emergencies come up, something I don't take for granted one bit! Specially on the days when I am worn down at the end of the day and just need a few moment of quietness in the house to regain my sanity before Steve gets home from work.


I think that covers the major events for now- plan on posting picture updates more often going forward!


Social Media Break



It’s been two weeks and four days into my social media break… and I’m quite often asked how it’s going. In all honesty it has been really great for the most part, but it has also had its down side. I am not by any means against social media and am really looking forward to going back- but I must say it’s been really great to be disconnected for this time. I find that when I finally have those moments of quiet moments throughout the day and after putting the kids to bed- I have been reading books, reading scripture, and have been more consistent in prayer. In a way it has taken the overload of information that social media brings with it (good and bad) and removed the noise that sometimes keeps me busy and focused on things that are not that important (like the funny video you can’t help but watch, somebody’s blog post everyone is sharing, or just celebrity news in general). And to be honest I don’t think I checked social media that often (there have been plenty of days where surviving my children is enough to keep me busy away from the phone for days at a time) but it would still take up those short and rare moments of quietness that would eventually come up. 

Now for the bad- I miss seeing my friend’s posts! I want to know when their kids are sick, when they need prayer, when they have a small victory to celebrate. It can be isolating not being on social media and not being connected this way. When I started this fast I accepted that I would miss out on some stuff, might be behind on some updates, would not get to see pictures of babies being born or pregnancies announced. And that’s ok for the time being because right now I am in a season where I truly, desperately, more than anything else, desire to grow in my relationship with the Lord- and seek direction for our family over the next few years. 

I am thankful for blogging and the opportunity I have to share real life here, and I hope to be more consistent with it going forward :)

Update on Foster Parenting

It has been a few months since we have had a placement and since we are often asked how we are doing with this, I wanted to share a brief (Okay long) update.

We had three placements last fall, but have not had any foster placements since mid-November last year. Unfortunately, we have not had many phone calls for placements as I thought we would (especially during Christmas where I imagined we would have many calls). We only had one call at the end of December and it did not end up working out. There have been about three phone calls since November but none of them have worked out for various reasons. So we continue to be in prayer about this. We seem to be in a season of ‘in between’ and right now we just continue to wait for the next phone call for a placement.

Even though we haven’t had many placements, there are many ways becoming foster parents has changed our family. And I hope and pray that it will continue to do so much more! When we started last fall I personally struggled with being labeled as the ‘foster family’ and being judged for the decision we had made to go down this road. It all of a sudden became our world- what people first asked about, and in some way a spotlight was put on us about how this would all work out. This led me to retrieve and become more private in general, as I knew we did not start foster parenting for attention or praise but to serve where we felt God leading us. On the other hand there were some HARD days where we sure needed encouragement and prayer- and so it was difficult and a personal struggle on how to have wisdom and discernment on what to share.

There was also fear- fear that we would not succeed at foster parenting. That it would be too hard, that we would give up eventually, and that we had started on this journey that would lead nowhere.

There was fear that having these children for a few days would make no difference in their lives. That we were doing this and putting ourselves out there for something that would have no fruit.

It has taken me a few months to process these things and this is what I have finally come to terms with: Being or not being a foster family does not define who we are. It might be a label that we may have for a  while, and it might stick for a while or it might not. Ultimately I hope to be identified as a family who loves Jesus and desires to serve Him above everything else. We may not get everything right, we may have some setbacks, but I want to continue to pursue God’s calling for us, particularly reaching out to the poor and fatherless. Because 2013 was an eye opening year and I hope to never turn away from what we have learned and seen through our short experience so far as foster parents. I desire to continue stepping out of our comfort zone even though that may mean different things for different seasons: we could continue with respite fostering, take in a more permanent placement, mentor someone in foster care, or do something else altogether. We are still trying to figure what that looks like, but I believe God has a part for us to carry out and we are just not clear on what that looks like 100% yet. 

I wanted to end this post by sharing a few ways that foster parenting has been a blessing to our family.

It has taught me to not be as hard on myself as a mom.
After seeing how much some of these children long for a stable figure in their lives- and the significant impact this would have on them, I have learned to extend grace to myself on those days when I feel like I am failing as a mom. On the days when my children don’t eat a single vegetable or fruit, watch way too much TV, and I don’t have interesting activities planned out for them- yes even on those days I have been able to not beat myself up and rejoice on the fact that my children know me and see me love on them every day.

It is teaching our children how to give
Because foster parenting is something Jack and Palmer are a part of, they have to share us and everything they have with other children during the time they are here. I think it has opened Jack’s eyes a little bit (to what’s age appropriate of course) to know that not everyone has a home, or food, or parents to take care of them. I hope it is shaping them into the Godly men I pray they will grow up to be one day.

If I’m truly obedient to God, I may not always see the full picture
Because by nature I want to be ‘in the know’ and understand what the full picture looks like before I invest myself in something. I know that sometimes when God calls us to do something it may not make complete sense at the moment, but if He is leading then He must know what the full plan looks like! My job is just to trust Him.

I am learning to hold on to my plans loosely.
Because we don’t know when we will get a phone call for another placement, it teaches me to not hold on tightly to my plans. I am learning to be flexible because when we have a placement most of my previously made plans go out the window. I know this may sound like some people’s worst nightmare, but I love that I am getting better at surrendering my plans and not getting worked up about it when they fall through.

It made my one year old step up his game
Palmer has had a mild speech delay, but after seeing other children call me mama he immediately started speaking (to call me mama of course) just as we were getting ready to start him on some speech therapy. A little competition may have done him some good? :)

Laying myself down
This is truly what I have loved the most- and I often miss when we don’t have a placement. It’s hard to put into words but having a child from the foster system in our home truly puts everything into perspective. Because when a child who doesn’t have a home, or parents, and has been neglected comes through the door- all of a sudden having a whiny one year old and having some electrical issues with my car is not the big deal I originally thought it was (and it doesn’t ruin my day as it would’ve before). The small things in life have no effect on me anymore- whether someone was nice to me or not, commented on my pictures or not, left me out from something or not, etc, etc. All that becomes immaterial as I began to think outside of myself and focus on the needs of a hurting little soul.

Wasn't sure how to wrap up this post and then I remembered this song 'Somewhere in the Middle' by Casting Crowns I heard this afternoon :) Could not find better words to share my thoughts as we try to figure out what we are called to do.
 
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, 
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle.
With eyes wide open to the differences- 
the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His? 
Or are we caught in the middle?

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