A look back at 2014

2014 was a very blessed year. A look back at it with joy over all the 'firsts' we had and with sadness at how quickly it went by. Thankfully this was a year I did not wish away, and just wanted to write a blog post about the highlights of the year.

This was our first year as Disney seasonal pass holders. The boys loved it and we spent a lot of time there over the year.

This was a cute picture of Palmer and Jack strawberry picking in the spring... one of my favorite pictures of the two of them.

In the Spring we joined a couples bible study going over the book 'Forgotten God' by Francis Chan. It was led by our friends Matt and Laura who did a wonderful job in leading it! Definitely one of my favorite studies so far and we really cherished the friendships we made. This Spring we are excited to start another couples bible study in our home, excited to be back in a bible study once again!

Jack finished off his 4 year old class in May. His teacher Mrs. Poole is wonderful and we are so thankful to have had her as his teacher. 

In April 2014 I stepped in as coordinator for the Fishhawk CARES group at our church Fishhawk Fellowship. The mission of the group is to suport foster and adoptive families, as well as encourage people to get involved in helping children in need. It has been a very busy year working on this, but I am passionate to be leading this group... and always excited to see how God is at work through this!

Palmer turned 2 on May 4th. We had a small construction themed party at grandpa's house, and he enjoyed every bit of that cake!

On June 7th, my sister Mariela got married to Courtney in Washington DC. She had a beautiful wedding in the country and I really enjoyed our time together. It was wonderful to have a weekend with my sisters and mom.

On June 13th, Steve's brother Brett got married to Lauren. They had a beautiful wedding in Clearwater beach and we were honored to be part of it.

At the end of June we traveled to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic to spend a week with my dad. My dad was in good spirits and health, and we really enjoyed our time with him. On August of this year my dad had a stroke, and shortly after another accident which has left him with very limited use of his arm. We are praying for his healing and hoping he will be able to come to the US soon.

Jack started VPK in the fall of this year. Thankful for Mrs. Koutz, another wonderful teacher that loves on these kiddos so much.

In the fall Jack started his first season of Tball. Steve coached the team along with grandpa, uncle Brett, Mr. Larry and some other men. Jack was spoiled to have his family as coaches but he really enjoyed playing baseball, and we plan on playing again next fall.

On September 14th Jack turned 5 years old! Can't believe how quickly time goes by... We celebrated with a very small birthday party at grandpa's house.

On October 29, 2014 we took our first family road trip to North Carolina to visit friends. The kids did surprisingly well on the ride up and we really enjoyed our time with the Shah and Clark families. Hoping to be back again to visit soon!

I don't have a picture for this, but in December 2014 I started working again part time. I work at a small consulting company in Brandon approximately 10 hours a week as a financial analyst. It was a much bigger adjustment than anticipated (I thought 10 hours a week would be easy!) but I am finally getting into a routine. I am thankful for a very good and flexible work environment, and a place to use these skills I have been given. I love what I do as a financial analyst, and am thankful for this job even though it wasn't something I was looking for.

I am thankful for God's blessings this past year and am looking forward to what God has in store this next year. To Him be all the glory!

Outback's Blooming Onion

Recently I had a small glimpse of how God continues to use the pain of my past for good in the present. It has been going through my mind for a few weeks, and just wanted to write about and share here.  Because it’s all about giving God the glory.

Outback’s Blooming Onion has always reminded me of Andrew. Steve and I had dinner at Outback the night before I went into labor with Andrew. After giving birth we joked that it must have been that blooming onion that sent me into labor, and we blamed his very chubby cheeks on those fried onions rings. 

On what would’ve been Andrew’s first birthday we went back to Outback for dinner. It was really hard, as it was the first time we had been there since that night before he was born.  Somehow we ended up being seated on the exact same table that we had been seated a year before. It was so painful but we decided to order the dinner, with of course the blooming onion as an appetizer in remembrance of Andrew. 

We have been back to Outback every year around his birthday since then. And every year we order the blooming onion as a small way of remembering him.  

A few weeks ago we went to Sunday morning service at our church Fishhawk Fellowship. Our friend Ashanti came with us that morning, she is a sweet girl I have been mentoring for some time and she enjoys coming to service on Sundays.  That day we went out to Outback for lunch, and as we were getting ready to order she mentioned she had never been to Outback before. Steve of course jumped in and said ‘Well then, we have to get the blooming onion!’ And she smiled and nodded, as I told her to get ready for the best meal of her life :)

And later that day it hit me. Something that had been a reminder of Andrew and the pain of losing him, would now going forward be a reminder of Ashanti of the day she tried the blooming onion for the first time. It would be a reminder of how blessed we are just to even be able to go to Outback. It would be a reminder of the joy I’ve experienced over the last few months in being her mentor. Now don’t get me wrong- it will always remind me of Andrew, but now there is great joy associated with it.

And for that I am thankful.

The truth is I could still be Ashanti’s mentor today even if we had not lost Andrew six years ago. God could’ve laid it on my heart, convicted me, asked me to be her mentor in a million different ways. In an alternate universe I could be sitting in Outback with Steve, three boys, and her trying a blooming onion for the first time. But I would not have been able to connect with her as we have over the last six months. I would not have been able to relate to her pain. I would not have had any platform to tell her to trust God even when life seems really unfair. Yes that horrible pain of my past, the loss I really didn’t want to walk through... is something that feels so precious to me today.  And although I would never choose the loss and will never be able to understand why it happened, I am thankful that God is using some of it for good and for His purposes.

Please keep Ashanti in your prayers as she will be moving to Pinellas county sometime over the next few weeks.

A Beautiful day for a Pumpkin Patch

It was a perfect fall morning. The Saturday before Halloween, many places around the area where hosting pumpkin patches- Fishhawk, Bloomingdale, the local high school, etc.  Somehow we had managed to not make it to a real pumpkin patch this Halloween season, not because we didn’t want to, but life and other commitments got in the way. I really, really wanted to go- and this would be our last chance before Halloween. 

Except I had promised my friend Ashanti that I would take her out to eat and/or to the mall that week. Ashanti is a 14 year old girl I’m mentoring through the program I Matter Too. I had tried for Thursday but that didn’t work. I tried Friday and that didn’t work either. The only time that worked for her was Saturday. In the middle of that stinking, beautiful, cool day

.

I had a decision to make- spend the day with family on a pumpkin patch and take those pictures I really wanted to take. Or take Ashanti to the mall that afternoon. The first thoughts that came to mind were:

What kind of terrible mother doesn’t take her kids to a real pumpkin patch?

What if I choose to spend time with Ashanti that afternoon only to have her ignore and look at her phone the whole time?

It’ll be ok if I wait and take her another weekend. So what if she’s looking forward to it, she’ll understand.

But after prayer and talking to Steve about it, we decided to skip the pumpkin patch and that I would take her out to the mall that afternoon.  I had no expectations of our time. I prepared myself with prayer that morning, that I would have the confidence to not regret the decision no matter how our time turned out. Even if she was having an off day (most of the time we really have a great time), even if she snapchatted the entire time, even if we didn’t talk about anything deep or life changing.

And this is how our afternoon turned out:

We had Chipotle, and during lunch found out we are both obsessed with the ‘The fault in our Stars’. I had just seen it by myself the weekend before and was so excited I could talk to someone who loved it as much as I did!

We met a lady with a really fancy English accent and had a good laugh. The type of laugh that makes you cry.

We walked around stores window shopping and without rushing. Normally when I’m at the mall I’m making a beeline for the store I need to go, so I can be in and out as quickly as possible before my kids have a total meltdown.  

We smelt candles. A lot of candles.

We sang together on the ride home. And we showed each other our favorite songs.

I got to see the world for three hours through the eyes of a 14 year old. There was no mention of poop, sleep training, toddler problems, or managing keeping the kids alive.  I realized that day, most of my adult conversations these days revolved around one of the fore mentioned.

We didn’t talk about anything deep or life changing. But in the last 5 minutes of our time together, as I pulled in to her driveway to drop her off, she opened up about her past. Stuff that she had never shared with me before, and I knew somehow she had grown to trust me that afternoon just a little bit more.

The thing is, for months I have been praying  for the opportunity to love on someone in need, even if it came at a cost or sacrifice.  But once it was time to make a sacrifice, I didn’t want to make it. And I rationalized my way out of it pretty easily.

But this year I will always remember the pumpkin patch I didn’t make it to on that beautiful fall morning before Halloween. Maybe it would’ve blended in with all the other years we’ve made it to a patch. But I hope I will always remember my time with Ashanti that afternoon.

Last thought: I think pumpkin patches are a great way for a family to spend time together and am in no way against them. Hope we can make it to one in Nov or sometime next year!

End of Summer

I can’t believe we are just a few weeks before school starting again. This summer went by quickly- the first half being a whirlwind of events (two weddings and a trip to the Dominican) while the second half was quiet and uneventful. 

The month of July turned out to be a hard month after all. I was doing great up until Andrew’s birthday, and that week the sadness swept in all at once. This year we didn’t continue with our traditions- like volunteering as a family on his birthday, or planning our balloon release (which we did a few weeks later), or even just taking time out of our day to go through Andrew’s things. His birthday came and went like every other day… and that began my sadness.  Looking back I know now that no matter how much time has gone by since he was here, we really need to take that time to grieve as a family. If we don’t  grief has a funny way of coming up in unexpected ways. And sometimes it sticks around for much longer than it should.

This month has been more joyful and busy as we get ready for fall. This year I’ve stepped back from leadership at Jack’s preschool and our MOPS group. Since last spring my desire has been on focus on getting out of my comfort zone, to find a tangible way to invest and give to the poor and orphans in our community. Although respite foster parenting didn’t turn out to be something we could do long term, it was eye opening to see how much of a need there is from children to have basic physical and spiritual needs met. Hundreds, if not thousands of children right here around the corner from where we live.

So there are some things we are doing and I may share them at another time. I can share I’m excited about where God is leading us and I know He is up to great things! Besides my disappointment in that foster parenting didn’t pan out the way I had pictured it would, I know that God is going to use that experience for something good and purposeful, even if I can’t see it quite yet.

The boys are doing well and growing quickly. Palmer is finally starting to talk more, although he’s not saying full sentences quite yet. He is full of funny and unexpected moves, quite the charmer he will probably be one day. And Jack is quite funny as well, these days he’s busy with anything Star Wars related, swimming whenever he can, and coloring as his favorite past time. He is a little man and I can’t believe he’ll be FIVE in just a few short weeks!!

That’s my update for now, hope to post more regularly over the next few weeks. I love writing, but with neither one of the boys napping these days it has become quite the challenge :)