Ok so it's been a long time since I last wrote something and Steve reminded me the other day how much I enjoyed it. I guess I felt in the first 6 months after losing Andrew God was showing me so much and was very excited to share it with others. Great changes were taking place! And great changes are still taking place, but I have been in a place of a much deeper grief lately and so I've stayed much more private. I have not only missed Andrew, but LONGED for him in ways I haven't before. I desperately long to hold him and kiss him. I am afraid I will forget how he felt and smelled and I don't want to. Its almost as if I want to stay in that grief because that is the only connection I have with him. And if that means crying every time I think about the NICU, then that's fine with me. But I think there will come a point where I will have to move on and not stay in the past.
But things haven't all been so difficult. I have been weepy and experience emotions I had never experienced before, but a lot of good things are taking place. This past week Steve, Steve's dad, my sister and I traveled to Mexico to spend some time with my dad. It was really good to see him and make some memories with him. It was such a blessing!
Also I have been LOVING my Monday night Esther bible study: its tough being a woman. My sister Elizabeth is doing it with me and that encourages me a lot. I can relate a lot to Esther and I'm truly enjoying everything I'm learning. It is almost as if reading a good novel too: There are parties, betrayal, drunkeness, breakups, tragedy, celebrations, gossip, secrets... who needs people magazine?
That is all I have for now. I will try to write more often in the future :)
But things haven't all been so difficult. I have been weepy and experience emotions I had never experienced before, but a lot of good things are taking place. This past week Steve, Steve's dad, my sister and I traveled to Mexico to spend some time with my dad. It was really good to see him and make some memories with him. It was such a blessing!
Also I have been LOVING my Monday night Esther bible study: its tough being a woman. My sister Elizabeth is doing it with me and that encourages me a lot. I can relate a lot to Esther and I'm truly enjoying everything I'm learning. It is almost as if reading a good novel too: There are parties, betrayal, drunkeness, breakups, tragedy, celebrations, gossip, secrets... who needs people magazine?
That is all I have for now. I will try to write more often in the future :)
