Mother's Day

This year mother's day was bittersweet. Much better than anticipated, but still had some tough moments throughout the day.

As usual we went to Memaw & Bepop's (Steve's grandparents) church which was about an hour north of where we live. Last time I was there I was pregnant with Andrew so it brought back a lot of memories and emotions. The pastor kept going on and on about how being a mother is not just birthing, but doing all the little things for our kiddos- such as getting up in the middle of the night, cooking meals, etc... All things I didn't get to do with Andrew! It seemed like every time he said the word mother (which he said a lot) I was getting jabbed in my stomach. I do not think he meant any harm by his sermon and I extended the grace to not get mad about it. I think he probably just didn't consider the mothers who have had miscarriages or lost their children before they ever got to experience those things.

The church also did a contest to find the youngest mother in the audience and I forgot how old I was! They asked all moms under 27 years of age to remain standing and I of course sat down thinking I was 28! ha ha. Then Steve gave me a dirty look and told me to stand up, but I thought he just wanted me to 'pretend I was 27' just to win! Our family got a very good laugh out of it. There was a mom who was 25 years old in the audience so I would not have won the contest anyway. But for the record apparently I am 27, younger than I thought!! I don't know why I have such a hard time remembering my age.

Of course the only newborn in the audience sat behind us. A little boy probably about 8 months close how old Andrew would be now. And he kept cooing and making noises throughout the entire sermon... I tried so hard not to keep looking back. I thought it was ironic how they happened to sit right behind us as there were no other children or babies in the service. Its a very small church.

In the midst of it all I felt thankful for a good ultrasound on Friday, but my heart was so heavy for my friend Rebecca who earlier that week experienced the loss of her second child. Sunday afternoon our family watched a video that she and her husband gave at their church on the precious life of their daughter Molly Ann Mutz. The message was SO GOOD and I highly recommend it. The link is
http://www.flatironschurch.com/messages/messages.php
and the sermon is called Wasted Pain. I don't think anything has spoken to me that directly and truthfully in a while. I am so blessed to know her and look forward to seeing her later this month.

Sunday evening we went to our monthly bereaved parent group. While most people think this would be realy depressing, actually most parents really enjoy it and look forward to it. I think its because it makes us feel that we are not alone in our grief, and there are other people out there battling the same emotions.

I did not long for Andrew Sunday like I thought I would. I thought about him but just felt happy thinking about him. I showed Memaw & Bepop the scrapbook my mom and I made of him, and they really enjoyed it. I was so glad to show pictures of Andrew and have others remember him on that day, instead of not mentioning him at all. I really enjoy it when other people ask about Andrew.

And I am trying to enjoy every moment with Baby Briggs # 2. I can't imagine what it would be like to possibly bring him/her home one day. In the meantime I am trying to appreciate and be thankful for the time the Lord has given me today.