I have been reading this book that I just LOVE called Hind's feet on high places! I wish everyone could read this book (I think I will give it away for Christmas!). It is the story of 'Much-Afraid' and how she lives unhappy in the valley with her family 'The Fearings'. She embarks on a journey to the top of the high mountains despite pride, resentment, bitterness, and self-pity scheming ways to stop her along the way. It is such a neat picture of God's faithfulness and how life is not always picture perfect.
There was one paragraph in the beginning of the book I wanted to share which really caught my attention. I thought it was a neat way of wording something I've never really said outloud...
'As Christians we know, in theory at least, that in the life of a child of God there are no second causes, that even the most unjust and cruel things, as well as all seemingly pointless and undeserved sufferings, have been permitted by God as a glorious opportunity for us to react in them in such a way that our Lord and Savior is able to produce in us, little by little, His own lovely character'.
The Journey
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A couple of years ago my University of Tampa mentor gave me a mug that said "Its about the journey, not the destination". I was quite frustrated with my MBA program at the time and ready to quit. I just wanted to get it over with! But even if I could have bought the certification somehow it would have been worthless. The worth of my MBA degree is what I learned in the process.
This past Saturday my husband and I went to his dad's house to watch the UF-Alabama game with his family. I was very excited to actually bring something to eat for everyone- my half made four layer Mexican dip (its supposed to be seven-layers!). Steve's dad was also making Spritz butter cookies for everyone. Somehow he messed up the recipe and he had to throw away the dough… and he seemed frustrated and kind of upset. I tried to save the day by running to the computer and googling the recipe online. I quickly printed it and brought it back to him proudly thinking it would solve the problem.
To my surprise he was still upset even after fixing the recipe. As I was cutting onions in the kitchen a light bulb went off in my head… it was not the cookies he cared about, it was the process of making the cookies. In past Christmas seasons his mom would bake the cookies, and it was a fun and joyous event for the family. The cookies could have tasted horrible- but the conversations, the laughter, and the fellowship is what it was really all about. This year his mom was in heaven and so was his first grandchild. And he missed them.
I was very humbled by this experience. I realized I don't have to have the right answers to other people's problems. When my family or friends called me when they are struggling with something, I don't have to have a magical solution to solve their problems! I am learning that just being is enough. That's the beautiful healing power of fellowship.
That same evening my dad called me from Venezuela to tell me how much he missed seeing me and my sisters during Christmas. I intuitively wanted to tell him that it was ok and he should be thankful for what he had. I wanted to share bible verses on God's love and His plan for us. But instead for the first time in many years, I just listened. And it was enough.
That was a life-changing moment for me!
Someone told me Christ sometimes does not always give us what we ask for right away, because he uses the process or time in between to draw us in a closer relationship with Him. At first I thought someone made this up to make me feel better about whatever I was going through at the time. And to me it sounded kind of cruel. But its true… looking back at my life I know I seek out God the most when I am at the bottom, and rarely at the top. I seek Him out when I am in situations I can't understand, because I rest in knowing God is always in control no matter what my emotions tell me.
Its funny, initially I turn to Christ mainly because of what He can give me- for his promises of prosperity, deliverance, and blessings. But in the process I get to know Him for who He is and not for what He can give me. As pastor Todd would say it- I begin to seek His face instead of His hand.
Yes, Christ has the power to give me all the things I ask for- but then where would our relationship be?
And at the end of it all I am humbled and thankful to say its all worth it.
This past Saturday my husband and I went to his dad's house to watch the UF-Alabama game with his family. I was very excited to actually bring something to eat for everyone- my half made four layer Mexican dip (its supposed to be seven-layers!). Steve's dad was also making Spritz butter cookies for everyone. Somehow he messed up the recipe and he had to throw away the dough… and he seemed frustrated and kind of upset. I tried to save the day by running to the computer and googling the recipe online. I quickly printed it and brought it back to him proudly thinking it would solve the problem.
To my surprise he was still upset even after fixing the recipe. As I was cutting onions in the kitchen a light bulb went off in my head… it was not the cookies he cared about, it was the process of making the cookies. In past Christmas seasons his mom would bake the cookies, and it was a fun and joyous event for the family. The cookies could have tasted horrible- but the conversations, the laughter, and the fellowship is what it was really all about. This year his mom was in heaven and so was his first grandchild. And he missed them.
I was very humbled by this experience. I realized I don't have to have the right answers to other people's problems. When my family or friends called me when they are struggling with something, I don't have to have a magical solution to solve their problems! I am learning that just being is enough. That's the beautiful healing power of fellowship.
That same evening my dad called me from Venezuela to tell me how much he missed seeing me and my sisters during Christmas. I intuitively wanted to tell him that it was ok and he should be thankful for what he had. I wanted to share bible verses on God's love and His plan for us. But instead for the first time in many years, I just listened. And it was enough.
That was a life-changing moment for me!
Someone told me Christ sometimes does not always give us what we ask for right away, because he uses the process or time in between to draw us in a closer relationship with Him. At first I thought someone made this up to make me feel better about whatever I was going through at the time. And to me it sounded kind of cruel. But its true… looking back at my life I know I seek out God the most when I am at the bottom, and rarely at the top. I seek Him out when I am in situations I can't understand, because I rest in knowing God is always in control no matter what my emotions tell me.
Its funny, initially I turn to Christ mainly because of what He can give me- for his promises of prosperity, deliverance, and blessings. But in the process I get to know Him for who He is and not for what He can give me. As pastor Todd would say it- I begin to seek His face instead of His hand.
Yes, Christ has the power to give me all the things I ask for- but then where would our relationship be?
And at the end of it all I am humbled and thankful to say its all worth it.
He opened my eyes
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted T
he ones that are far beyond my reach
- Brandon Heath
When I was pregnant, there was one Saturday when my husband and I went out to the pool in the afternoon. As I laid out in the chair with my humungous belly, reading a book about being a mom, a young woman sat next to me reading a book about infertility. She looked at me and pointed out the irony of us sitting next to each other. I tried to encourage her, but how much can a very pregnant woman encourage someone who is having a hard time getting pregnant? Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and moved around. Nevertheless, I went home and prayed for her. As much as I wanted to I could not bring hope to her because I had not walked the same road she was going through.
The lyrics above are from one of my favorite songs by Brandon Heath. I actually think it is more of a prayer with some music playing in the background. These words come from someone who wants to get people on a more personal level. He knows there are people who are hurting out there, but somehow he keeps missing them as they pass by. I relate to this person because I have been given a new set of eyes after going through the pain of losing Andrew. I am able to see people and their hurt in ways I couldn’t before. These were people who were my closest friends, my family, co-workers, colleagues, and acquaintances. How had I not seen their pain when they were right in front of me all along?
God has given me compassion and a genuine interest in others around me. I don’t think God took Andrew away so I could in turn see people hurting around me. I don’t know the reasons He had for Andrew’s life being so short, they are too far above me for me to understand. It would be the same as if an ant would try to understand how the human mind works. No matter how hard the little ant tried, there is just no way to even comprehend the way humans think and feel.
What I do know is that in the midst of a world of wounded people, I can pass hope to others because I am wounded as well. I was wounded in my past and healed. I believe God can and will heal me and my family again.
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted T
he ones that are far beyond my reach
- Brandon Heath
When I was pregnant, there was one Saturday when my husband and I went out to the pool in the afternoon. As I laid out in the chair with my humungous belly, reading a book about being a mom, a young woman sat next to me reading a book about infertility. She looked at me and pointed out the irony of us sitting next to each other. I tried to encourage her, but how much can a very pregnant woman encourage someone who is having a hard time getting pregnant? Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and moved around. Nevertheless, I went home and prayed for her. As much as I wanted to I could not bring hope to her because I had not walked the same road she was going through.
The lyrics above are from one of my favorite songs by Brandon Heath. I actually think it is more of a prayer with some music playing in the background. These words come from someone who wants to get people on a more personal level. He knows there are people who are hurting out there, but somehow he keeps missing them as they pass by. I relate to this person because I have been given a new set of eyes after going through the pain of losing Andrew. I am able to see people and their hurt in ways I couldn’t before. These were people who were my closest friends, my family, co-workers, colleagues, and acquaintances. How had I not seen their pain when they were right in front of me all along?
God has given me compassion and a genuine interest in others around me. I don’t think God took Andrew away so I could in turn see people hurting around me. I don’t know the reasons He had for Andrew’s life being so short, they are too far above me for me to understand. It would be the same as if an ant would try to understand how the human mind works. No matter how hard the little ant tried, there is just no way to even comprehend the way humans think and feel.
What I do know is that in the midst of a world of wounded people, I can pass hope to others because I am wounded as well. I was wounded in my past and healed. I believe God can and will heal me and my family again.
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