Rainbows

Shortly after Andrew passed away, a bereaved mother to a 3 month old told me a neat story. She was wondering how her daughter was doing in heaven and had prayed to have a peace in her heart that she was ok. The one day she started seeing rainbows everywhere- about 5 or 6 the same day! Little did she know, as she sat down to read her bible that night she would across this passage in revelations

"And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling an emerald,encircled the throne" Revelations 4:3

She felt peace that night knowing her daughter was not only in heaven, but at the throne of the king! Ever since then I love seeing rainbows. It gives me a little glimpse of the beauty and majesty of heaven.


A picture my sister Elizabeth took on a mission trip to Peru earlier this year


A picture my husband Steve took in Anna Maria island over 4th of July weekend

Andrew's birthday

On Andrew's birthday, Steve and I volunteered at our church for the day. Initially we were going to stay home, but my dad gave us the idea to do something to help others in Andrew's memory. We volunteered for 'Frontliners' a local project headed by our church to reach people in our community. Students from all over the country came to Tampa for 3 days to knock on people's door and share their story of how Christ had changed their lives... and invite them to our church!

We were assigned to drive around with water coolers to make sure the students stayed hydrated. I had hoped that on Andrew's birthday something amazing would take place, but it turned out to be a very routine day- nothing out of the ordinary, no great story to share, we didn't even get to see the rainbow I had hoped for. I was kind of dissapointed we were given a small task at frontliners, while Steve fully accepted the task and gave his very best. He was the best water cooler passer out there! As seemingly unimportant of a job it might have seemed, he did it joyfully and with a good attitude. And that is how Steve is in everything he does. How much I have to learn from my husband! And I love all that the Lord is teaching me through him. As the day went by I realized that I need to learn to honor God through whatever He asks of me. While I may want to honor Him by doing something big and out of the ordinary, I need to honor him in the small things as well.

A year ago I was co-leading a CR bible study. Today I am just a participant. A year ago I was mentoring two ladies at our church. Today I am the one being mentored. A year ago I was the one given my parents advice on various things. Today I don't know what I would do without their daily encouragement.

And so even through a very ordinary day on Andrew's birthday, I am glad that God is still at work. I am so thankful to be able to hear the same message and over and over again to honor Him in the small things. Perhaps in His eyes they are no less important than anything else.

Our friends the Clarks gave us a very special gift on Andrew's birthday. They are sponsoring a child in Lebanon in honor of Andrew! It was another reminder that God can do all things even through the small things.... perhaps they have a bigger impact than I can imagine. Below is last part of Shelly's email (with her permission)

Long story short - Someone is going to provide these children with an education - whether it be a terrorist group, or with the help of Christians supporting these children, they can get a Christian education and be spared the brainwashing and teachings of violence and hate that is taught in the public school system! They said a gift of $$ would provide one child with Christian education for one school year. So in Andrew's memory, I called in and did that.

At first, satan attacked and put the thought in my head that doing that for just one child would not really be able to make a difference in such a broken world, but then I thought of Andrew. His little life had such a huge impact on so many of us and I was reminded that the Lord can do all things. So hopefully we can provide one child with the opportunity to know Christ and he/she will share that with others and slowly, the people of Lebanon can be changed

I love you friend!
Happy Birthday Andrew - we miss and love you!
.

Remembering Andrew

Since Andrew's birthday fell on a Tuesday, Steve and I thought it would be good for us to get together with our family last Saturday to remember him. My mom and sister came into town for the weekend, and we got together at my father in law's house. I was very excited for this time of fellowship, especially because we really haven't had the whole family together since Andrew's memorial service. But at the same time I was dreading the day, thinking at some point, the emptiness in our hearts of not having Andrew would feel unbearable.

It was a very nice afternoon, but a very difficult one! We ordered Outback since that was the last dinner Steve and I had before I went into labor last year. I always used to say Andrew had some chubby outback onion ring cheeks! Such sweet, kissable cheeks.

We finally spread Andrew's ashes behind the river in Steve's dads house. This is such a special place for Steve as he has many good family memories there. We both really wanted this to be the place where we let go of Andrew's ashes which was a blessing.

We also let go of 12 balloons with messages for Andrew. We originally were going to do 10 for each day he was here with us, but it turns out we had 12 family members. It was really neat to watch them float up in the air, as they all stayed closely together. We thought they would probably all go in different directions, but they stayed side by side!

It was so good for us to grieve together with our families over Andrew. I know it would have been much easier to keep busy with other things that weekend and not really face the reality that Andrew is not here with us. But I have learned from my sweet friend Rebecca and Celebrate Recovery to fully embrace the pain of grief. That not talking about it only extends the pain and does not allow room for healing. It is not a fun process by any means, but it is a healing one that allows us to let go little by little.

Below is a verse that I read that Sat morning from my CR bible. I thought it was so appropriate for that day and an encouragement from above to be real, and face with God's grace, what otherwise would have been an unbearable day for us.

"Therefore I will not keep silent
I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit,
I will complain in the bitterness of my soul"
Job 7:11



My mom and I


My mom in law

Pregnancy Update

Today I complete 30 weeks pregnancy with baby Briggs # 2! I have not provided much updates on this baby thinking maybe if I don't share anything he/she will be fine... but my sweet husband reminded me that God is in control and I'm not. And he has also encouraged me to continue writing in this blog as he seems to enjoy it so much.

And so we continue to fervently pray and hope for this baby to join us! We had an ultrasound this past Monday and are very thankful it went well. The delivery date is getting close, but in my heart it feels like there is such a long way to go. I now know life can certainly change in the blink of an eye- and so I am moving forward with hope, but not taking the miracle of life for granted as I perhaps once did.

I am very thankful for our family and friends for the encouragement and prayer they continue to give us through this time.

Below are some pictures of the nursery for #2!