We had a busy Christmas with my mom and stepdad coming to Tampa, and we spent it at Steve's dads house. It was truly a joyous time! I don't think any of us take for granted the blessings we've received this year. It was a very exciting Christmas compared to the sorrow we were experiencing last year. My father in law was kind enough to thank God for both Jack and Andrew during a prayer on Christmas day, which I was very thankful for.
I think most people do not like to mention Andrew for the fear that it might upset me. While really it's the total opposite- I love to talk about Andrew! I could talk about Jack and him all day long. It hurts when others refer to Jack as our first son, as if Andrew was never here. Now with a new baby in my arms I often get asked the question by strangers 'Oh, is this your first baby?'. And I always answer 'No, we had our firstborn in 2008 but he only lived for 10 days. His name was Andrew'. Now this is not the answer most people expect and it makes them sad and sometimes uncomfortable. But I can't find it in me, to say Yes Jack is our firstborn, because he's not. It is such a difficult place to be in sometimes...
Other than that we are truly enjoying our time with Jack. He is already trying to crawl at 4 months! He looks like he's going to get in all kinds of trouble as he grows up. He is very independent and always lets us know when he doesn't like something. He's had a very strong little personality since he was born.
We are continuing to heal over Andrew. We are not healed just because Jack joined our family this past year. In fact as I watch Jack grow up, I think of Andrew a lot of the time wondering how he might have been like. I also wonder if Andrew was the 'Good older kid' and if Jack is the 'troubled middle child'. Did we miss out on our goody two shoes? Jack just seems to be such an adventurer and always keeps us on our toes. But we love that about him!
Here are some pictures from our visit to the Clark family in North Carolina this past weekend. Shelly had Miles 10 days after I had Jack. It was very encouraging to be pregnant together as we went through a lot of ups and downs during those 9 months. This was the first time Jack and Miles got to meet each other.
