Journey of Faith Friday- Surrendering

Ok, I know I am a sucker for the journey of faith Fridays posts- but I really enjoy sharing these stories! Looking back at the times the Lord has come through for me in the past encourages me to not lose hope when facing trials today. I hope this story will be of encouraging for someone out there, as encouraging as it is for me to look back and reflect on this.

The theme this week is to share ‘about a time you surrendered something/someone to the Lord’. I am excited to share this week’s story with my husband’s permission...

In Sept of 2007 Steve purchased an Allstate insurance agency. We had been praying about this decision for a long time and were very excited it was finally happening. We were also nervous as this was a step in faith for both of us! Steve would be his own boss for the first time, but he would also have the weight of running a business on his shoulders.

For the first three months he was required to write $20,000 worth of insurance premium. If he didn't I thought he would be forced to sell the agency or it'd be taken away in some form.

I was anxious about Steve meeting his goal and would often volunteer my advice on what I thought he should do.

Come the end of the first month= $0 in premium.

In the second month I started to become more nagging and controlling.I would sometimes call Steve at his office to tell him how he must not be doing something right. It was a very frustrating and stressful time for both of us.

Towards the end of the second month, I remember a day in which Steve told me he did not appreciate the way I had been acting towards him and to please let it go. I apologized to him for the first time and as soon as he hung up the phone I started crying. I had done everything in my power to try to make things happen, but obviously things weren’t working out as I wanted them to. It was almost the end of the second month and he had barely written $1,000 in premium.

As I sat there crying there that afternoon in the international mall parking lot, I remember asking the Lord to please take charge of his business and change my nagging attitude.

Now I don't know what was so different about that day. I had prayed every day for the past two months for God to help him with his business, but nothing had changed before then. The only thing that was different about that day was my cry. Literally tears flowing down.

I cried out to the LORD in my great trouble, and he answered me. Jonah 2:2
When I was in trouble, I cried out to the LORD, and he answered me Psalm 120:1

Maybe the bible is straightforward about the 'crying' part. Or maybe the tears where just an outward symptom of my brokeness inside. Whatever it was, I was finally able to surrender his business that day.

Over the next month I respected Steve’s business decisions and stopped telling him what to do. There were many times when I bit my tongue and kept asking God for help to continue to leave it at his feet (believe me there were  times when I wanted to take it back!)

Well low and behold Steve not only met the $20,000 premium that last month but he exceeded it. It only took him one month! Truly it was nothing short of a miracle.

Steve did not do anything radically different- the Lord just really came through for us.

I am always amazed at God’s faithfulness when I finally surrender things to him.

Organic on a budget

Just wanted to share this Saturday Village Health Market is having a 20% off sale storewide. While I shop at Publix for our weekly grocery, I only buy our poultry and meats at VHM since they have some great prices!

Organic Chicken Breast
Publix = $6.99/lb
Village Health Market= $3.99
with 20% off discount= $3.20/lb!!

Organic Ground Chicken
Publix= $5.16/lb
Village Health Market= $1.99
with 20% discount= $1.60/lb!

VHM also sells organic ground turkey (not available at Publix), organic meats, and wild salmon. They are located in South Tampa off Macdill, about a block south of bay to bay.

And as a tip on how to make food just a bit healthier- whenever I make meatsauce with pasta I often substitute the ground round beef with ground turkey- it has 40% less fat than the meat and it tastes pretty similar. Steve who does not like to eat anything with the term 'organic' attached to it because he automatically equates it to 'Pretty bad tasting' even loves the ground turkey instead of the beef!
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On a separate note a quick update on our family:

My mother in law Patti is recuperating well from her surgery yesterday. And praise the Lord they did not find any cancer as originally suspected! What a huge relief and blessing to our family. Thank you to all who prayed for her.

Also Jack is back to his old self from the stomach bug he had last week. He only had it for about a day, but was not himself really for a couple of days afterwards. Glad to have my little boy back!

He just started saying 'ma-ma' well yesterday when he is looking for me, and now says it all the time for everything- ha ha!

Off to College

My very sweet sister in law Jessie went back to college on Friday (Sniff, sniff). I am REALLY going to miss her as she has been such a wonderful aunt to Jack and has helped us a lot this summer by babysitting him whenever possible. What would we have done without you?

This picture is from her goodbye dinner Thursday night with Steve's family- we were quite the silly family at the restaurant and I think embarassed uncle Brett. ha! Steve's mom was going around the table with Jack playing duck duck goose on our heads... and he thought it was hilarious! It is so good to hear him belly laugh when he finds something really funny.

Also for those of you that know my mother in law, could you please keep her in your prayers this Monday as she is undergoing surgery. I know she would appreciate any prayers coming her way :)

Journey of Faith Friday: Mentors Week 3

This week I'll share about my dear friend and wonderful mentor Paula.

I met Paula when her husband and Steve went on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic back in Sept 2007. Steve and him shared a passion for playing Wii as they are both truly little kids at heart! Here's a picture of them in Santo Domingo. Lawrence (Paula’s husband) is on the left wearing the light pink shirt, and Steve on the very right with the blue plaid shirt.

(On a side note- Steve is very passionate about the work Kenneth Balootje is doing over there and you can read about his ministry here)

Paula and I were not very close until after Andrew passed away. Its funny how pivotal points in life can take some people out of the picture but bring others into it. Paula has a compassionate heart and she showed me so much care and love during this time. She would often call just to say that she had been praying for us and wanted us to know.

One of the things that I love about Paula is that she does not shy away from pain. When we would meet for coffee most of the conversations we had were very difficult, and I imagine this would scare away most people. But she never shied away and was always there with a listening ear and prayed for us to help us carry the burden of just losing Andrew.

I've learned a lot from Paula from the last few years. She also taught me how to cook healthier and organic meals (before I met her I had little desire to cook organic!)

When I was pregnant with Jack I went over to her house every other week to fill up on alkaline water. She had a very fancy water filtration system which we couldn't afford and we would fill up gallons of water (I'm talking like 10-15 gallons at a time). It truly was such good water and I hope we can get one of those one day. Will always be grateful for her kindness on this.

Paula and her family moved to South Carolina in the fall of 2009. I have really kept close touch with her as she travels often back to Tampa. I love, LOVE spending any time I can with her!

Here are some pictures from this spring when they were visiting back in town.

This picture was taken on a Friday night at the local rollerskating rink in South Tampa. We had a lot of fun dressing up in our 80’s theme that night and blending in the middle school crowd!

And here's a funny picture of Steve and Lawrence from that night... proof their love for each other is still strong after all these years! ha ha :)

This ends the three-week series on mentors. Thanks Amber for sharing this! I have really enjoyed reading and sharing on the mentor journey of faith Fridays.

11 months old

Jack you are now 11 months old! You are no longer a baby but a busy toddler constantly exploring everything around you. You are such a joy to my heart and to everyone around you! Your smile melts me every time and I quickly forget if I was frustrated at you over something. I love being your mom and I thank the Lord for you every night.

These days you love to open and close things. You crawl towards every door you see, open it and close it over and over again as you laugh histerically. I’d imagine this wouldn’t be so exciting after a while, but its been months and you still love doing this every day.

You also love to open and close pages to every book and don’t like it when I do it for you.

We have a lot of fun playing peekaboo around your crib. We'll chase each other around in circles and you think its hilarious!

You coming around the corner of the crib!

I sometimes try to hide from you and surprise you from the back but you outsmart me. After chasing me around in a circle, you will stop and wait for me to come up behind you! and I am the one surprised. Sometimes you will even cheat and look down to try to spot me with your 'signature spy pose'

You learned this pose from aunt Jessie’s cats a few weeks ago. You love to do this all the time now…

You get so excited when daddy gets home every night. You squeal with delight when you see his truck in the yard!

You do not like baby food and it is a struggle to get you to eat it. I usually have to bribe you with a few cheerios in between. Also you get bored really quickly in your high chair so we play peekaboo with you and dance like fools! If you are entertained you eat much easier.

The moment I sit down to eat anything from my plate (as I’m trying to scarf it down) you will quickly spot me and crawl over. You come up to my legs, open your mouth wide and give me the most pitiful look ever. How can I say no to you?

When we are in the couch, you come up to us, put your hands up in the air, and grunt until we bring you in the couch with us! Then you will crawl back and forth around it and have a blast doing so. You LOVE crawling around the couch and trying to spot the remote control which you have a special love for.

You wanting to get up on the couch

You stand up well and can walk as long as you’re holding on to something. Recently you realized you can reach the top of our kitchen table, and always try to grab whatever you can get your hands upon up there. We really need to be careful now with what we leave up there!

You enjoy throwing things in the floor from your chair or stroller, act surprised, look down, and say 'Uh-oh!'. You then look at us and laugh with a mischevious smile.

You are very good at pointing and letting us know what you want to play with. As soon as we pick you up in the mornings, you will point towards the door so you can open and close it. We're very proud of you!

You are lean and tall- You weigh 20 lbs (19th percentile) and measure 30 inches (78th percentile).

I love you my little buddy!

Journey of Faith: Mentors Week 2

I meant to publish this post yesterday, but got caught up with a few things and haven't been able to get behind a computer until tonight. ha! My little boy is keeping my busy :)

Continuing with Amber’s post on sharing about mentors, this week I’ll share about my relationship with my wonderful mentor Susan.

Susan was the co-leader of a bible study I participated in 2007. She also had a quiet demeanor about her, and initially I thought I had nothing in common with her (Starting to see a theme here?). I was even critical of the way she led, but God has a funny way of humbling me. She ended up being a very close and dear friend to me.

During that bible study I learned a lot from Susan, specially when it comes to proactively working on a marriage. I think we have a much stronger marriage today than we ever would have, if it wasn't for her willingness to spend time with me and teach me from her own journey.

Susan and I met for coffee for a long time after the bible study was over and I really enjoyed catching up with her. In 2008 she started traveling a lot to the Carolina’s to visit family, and I believe shortly after moved up there.

She will always have a special place in my heart and I am thankful for the impact she had on my spiritual walk.

The good, the bad, and the ugly- Part I

My wonderful husband Steve just got back from a 10 day wilderness fishing trip in the Yukon Territory. It is somewhere between Canada and Alaska, so far north in the hemisphere that the sun shines there 20 hours out of the day- yikes!

Steve went with his dad, brother, and three other men. He has been so excited to go for quite some time now, and it has always been a dream of his to be able to go on this trip with his father one day.

Brett, Steve, and his dad

Truly life doesn’t get much better for a man than being out in the wilderness…

Away from blackberries, internet, being behind a desk all day

And enjoying the sunshine, the view of the mountains, the smell of fresh uninhabited air

To catch a good fish, watch the sun go down, without being hurried, and no deadline to meet

Steve's dad is on the left, not sure who's on the right

To be part of an adventure, explore the unknown

Steve came across this bear on a boat and was only a couple feet away from him- no!

The cabin where they stayed at

I can only imagine what an incredible time my husband must have had out there! (By the way these pics are not from the internet Steve took them with our camera)

In case you’re wondering how he could go and leave me alone with a 10 month old, let me share why there was never a doubt in my mind that he should go on this trip.

Simply because I know he will come back a changed man. And a much better and happier husband and father!

God changed so much of Steve’s heart (and mine) on our mission trip to Peru in 2007. There was something about being in the amazon jungle and spending time with the Lord that was truly incredible.

Then God called Steve by himself to the Dominican in Sept of 2007. Again Steve came back a changed husband, excited about the future, and confident in himself and the Lord. It was pretty cool to see that change.

So when first told me about the idea of him getting away from the routine of everyday life and going on an adventure on the wilderness- there was never even as much of a hesitation from my part that he should go. Sure I knew it would be difficult for the 10 days and I will write more about that part in my next post (hence ‘the ugly’).

There were changes in my heart as well during these 10 days. I knew I would have to learn to rely on God more than ever, as I am so used to relying on my husband for some many things. It was neat to have this ‘alone’ time with the Lord, and have the extra time with him in prayer and quiet times.

I have a new found appreciation for my husband that I had not had in a while. He is really a ‘hands-on’ type of dad, always helping with giving Jack a bath, cleaning up the dishes, putting him down for the night, etc, etc.

Also I myself had started to become complacent and lazy in our marriage. I was usually so exhausted by the end of the day that I was not making the effort that I should’ve been doing in keeping our marriage new and exciting.

So getting out of the routine (not that there is anything wrong with routine) every now and then it’s wonderful. I am glad that I have a new found appreciation for Steve as a father, and that I’ve had the opportunity to miss him as a husband. Yes I really missed him like I haven’t in about 10 years!

Jack and I had plenty of time to bond like never before. I had been praying for months that if there was anything (fear, busyness) from fully loving Jack that God would work on that. And I believe he has! I missed my little buddy last Monday more than I did when I back to maternity leave at 12 weeks. It was just wonderful!

There were a lot of other things God worked on me which would be too long to share here.

I am grateful Steve came back safe and sound!! Jack's face lit up when he saw his daddy last Monday morning. I will never forget him cuddling in his chest for a few minutes (in baby time, that is like hours for him. he he!)

Journey of Faith Friday: Mentors

My sweet friend Amber has asked readers to share how a person has influenced your life and relationship with Christ. It is a three-part series, which works out perfect because I’d love to share my experience with different mentors and the ways God has used them to bless me.

This week I will share about my incredible mentor Vicki.

In the spring of 2008 I joined a bible study led by our church named ‘Complete Makeover’. It was a 6 week bible study in which we learned about cooking, cleaning, friendships, and growing in Christ. At the end of the 6 week everyone participating would be assigned a mentor by the church.

I was really excited about this, specially because my friend Holly had done it the spring before and many times shared with me what a wonderful impact it had on her life. The mentor she was given turned out to be one of her best friends- always guiding her to God’s word, sharing incredible wisdom, having lots of fun, and laughing a lot. They had even met up for mexican food a few times! It was neat to see how much Holly loved and respected her mentor.

So I was really excited to be assigned a mentor at the end of the study. I had prayed, and prayed that I would be given the mentor God had chosen for me and was nervous about finally meeting her.

The day came when we finally met our mentors. I remember meeting Vicki that day- she was a little bit older than I expected, wore glasses, and had a quiet demeanor about her. I remember thinking ‘Clearly I’m not going to have anything in common with this lady… did they assign me the wrong person?... They were supposed to pair us based on interests…they must’ve messed up somewhere!... I don’t see her as my mentor at all!’. I remember reluctantly talking to her and setting up a time for us to meet for coffee later that month.

Vicki and I met about every 2-3 weeks over the next few months. I saw how much she cared for me, faithfully prayed over areas in my life that were burdening me, and always pointed me back to God’s word. She’d always make time out of her busy schedule despite the fact that she had three young girls at home to care for and was undergoing chemo treatment for breast cancer.

Vicki had been battling breast cancer for many years. She had beat it at one point, but in the few months before we met tests showed it had come back.

She truly loved the Lord and put Him first in every area of her life. Despite the ups and downs of battling cancer, she never wavered in her faith and trusted Him even when the events around her gave her every reason to worry and fret.

I remember meeting with Vicki at the Panera on Westshore about a week before Andrew was due. We had a great conversation and prayed together before going home. I remember Vicki looking at me and saying ‘Next time we meet I’ll get to meet that precious baby of yours!’.

I could not have imagined at the time how the next 6 months would play out. As you all know Andrew unexpectedly ended up in the NICU and passing away 10 days later.

I remember meeting Vicki for coffee at that same Panera just a few weeks after we had lost Andrew. That day I felt pretty dazed and confused before meeting with her. It was hard going back to the same Panera where we used to meet and talk about all the changes that motherhood would have on my life.

That day God used Vicki to bring so much hope and strength to my heart. I carefully listened to every word she had to say… this lady knew what it was like to face adversity and still trust God despite of the trials and pain of this life.

I remember her telling me many things that day, but two things stick out the most in my mind. First she felt very compelled to share with me this verse that she felt God wanted me to hear…

‘My grace is enough for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness’ 2 Corinthians 12:9

She repeated over and over again that God’s grace would be more than enough for us during this time.

She also shared with me that in the moments of doubt, I should say outloud ‘I trust you Jesus’ over and over again. She said this had worked wonders for her during her times in the hospital and difficult times.

This was the last time we would get to meet. Vicki took a sharp turn for the worst over the next month and went to be with the Lord shortly after.

Although the end of this story might seem sad, it truly is a story of trusting God despite the circumstances. Of believing God’s love for us even when our prayers are not answered the way we would like. Vicki showed me all these things, and she had a tremendous impact in my faith and walk with the Lord.

At Vicki’s memorial service (same place where Andrew's service was held) they played a recording she had made at the hospital in her last days knowing she would not make it. It was so good to hear her voice, but even better to hear the peace and joy so few people have in those circumstances.

There is something special about the thought of Vicki getting to meet and hold Andrew in heaven, both in the presence of our Lord Jesus and with their bodies made whole again, as we had all so fervently prayed for on this earth.

She turned out to be just the perfect mentor God hand-picked specially for me.