What I'm Most Thankful For

As it turns out this is the only family picture we have at a pumpkin patch this Fall. As we were getting ready to take the picture I wondered whether it would be appropriate to ask Myra to come over and sit with us, after all she had only been in our home one week and would be leaving soon . But as soon as we sat down, she naturally ran over and jumped on my lap for the picture.

I remember awkwardly holding her (as you can see in the picture, I’m not even really touching her). But shortly after her little hands reached for my hand and wrapped them all the way around her waist. She snuggled in closer to me and smiled big for the camera.

What a sweet gift this was. Just seeing her love us back as if she had always been part of our family without any hesitation or awkwardness. Because when I wonder if respite foster parenting is something we should be doing, when I question what kind of impact (if any) we are having on these children, I am reminded of how God loves us. A love that gives all, risks all, and never holds back no matter how dark, hopeless, or unlikely the circumstances may be. God would not fear of getting hurt like I do sometimes when I love on them (or anyone else). He would go to great lengths just for the small chance of loving on us, and that type of love is BIG, and it changes us, and it is eternal.  

My friend Kaitlyn shared on bible study a few weeks ago that most of the things that we are thankful for could change at any second. Whether it’s our home, our food, our family, our possessions, etc. She challenged us to be thankful for things that are eternal and will never be taken away. And she was right. Because our husbands may fail us at times, our children may disappoint us, friends may reject or walk away us, our possessions may be gone, our we may get news of a fatal disease overnight (today a friend’s sister found out she has cancer and just a few months to live). It truly could all change in a matter of seconds.

And on the other side I am thankful for my blessings- undeserved blessings that have been given to me for a short period of time. But if my identity, security, or hope is centered on any of these, on anything other than Christ... then I am setting myself up for disappointment and heartache.

As these blessings change I am reminded that God’s love will still be the same. There may be times when I feel as if he loves me less, I may even be mad at him for these things being taken away from me. But despite my emotions on any given day, His love will never change.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for my husband. I am thankful for the gift of being a mother and what a humbling process it has been these last six years. I am thankful for family and friends to share life with. I am thankful for my health and all the other ways we have been blessed. But I am most thankful for God's love which can never be taken away.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord”   

Romans 8:38-39

Update

We have had a busy last couple of weeks winding down from summer and getting ready for fall. Jack started his three year old class and he is doing really well. We are thankful he has an exceptionally wonderful teacher and a great class. He is very excited his best friend Roman is in his class this year!

                                                                           

I also wanted to write a short update on foster parenting…  

Our first placement, a 21 month old little girl who stayed with us for a week was very hard. It took me a while to process everything and have thought a lot about what to share about it. I guess I thought it would be a wonderful experience which would encourage other people to think about foster parenting. But plain and simple it was a difficult experience, although at the end of it all very rewarding.

It was physically hard, especially that first day as all I did was try to keep her and the boys (particularly Palmer) from fighting with each other. By her last day here it was a night and day difference and she was doing remarkably well. 

It was also emotionally difficult. I assumed because we are doing short-term respite care there wouldn’t be a risk of us getting too attached. But I was wrong. From day one I gave her everything without holding back- I sang to her every morning, rocked her extra to sleep, prayed over her when she would get up late at night, brushed her hair, chased her around the house, treated her as if she was my own. It was hard to say goodbye especially knowing she was going back to a less than ideal living situation, which made me angry at times thinking about the unfairness of it all. I cried when I kissed her goodbye and for a few nights after she left. 

And despite it being a rough start we want to continue doing this. I can’t count the many times when I second guessed myself in our decision to become foster parents (particularly that first day when I asked myself every hour- Why are we doing this?). As I processed it with Steve, I am so happy and thankful that he feels that we should continue and so do I. It was an eye-opening, difficult, rewarding first experience. But I hope it will bring our family and other foster children to know God in a deeper level. To experience His love and grace even in the midst of unfair circumstances. And personally for me to depend on Him more fully on the days when I can't make it on my own in taking care of little ones. Because there is no way we would be doing this if it wasn't for the grace and love that God has already poured out on us. And we hope to pour that out unto little ones who come from such broken families and so desperately need Him.

And so we are waiting for our next placement which could be at any time.  Since she left, we’ve only had one phone call to take in two boys- which did not end up working out as they were not placed in respite care.

This post has been closed for comments, but if you'd like to share something please email me at carolinabriggs@gmail.com. Have a great weekend!

Seasons of Blogging

I started blogging four months after Andrew passed away. Initially I began writing thinking that I would publish a book one day about losing a child. A few chapters in, I realized that I may never publish a book, and a blog would be a great way to let me family know how I was doing during that difficult season of grief. They were grieving and walking alongside of us, and it was so helpful to have this way of communicating with them. In a way it allowed us to grieve together although we were physically far away. 

After Jack was born, and the season of empty arms was over, I slowly began to stop writing. But soon after my friend Amber started blogging and encouraged me to blog about the good times. The everyday blessings in life. I joined her in Multitude Mondays (Writing a thousand things to be thankful for) and Journey of Faith Fridays (Times when we had experienced God closely in our lives). It was a fun season to blog about- the season of being new parents.

But since having Palmer blogging hasn’t been as consistent since it’s so much more difficult to find the time with two little ones to care for.

There have been countless times when I have wanted to stop blogging. And every single time, it has been Steve that has convinced me otherwise. He has been my biggest cheerleader when it comes to blogging and today I am thankful for his encouragement. As it turns out, despite all the ups and downs along the way, I really do enjoy blogging and hope to do it for a long time. 

Many of my posts are very personal, and I have often wondered why I would share such personal details in a blog for others to read. Why I would invest the time writing when it might not make a difference to a single person. But I when I do, it is always with the hope that it will bring encouragement to someone out there and point them back to a closer relationship with God. That my life, our life, the life I write about here, would reflect God’s grace and redemption from the most broken of circumstances.  

I like blogging because it gives me the opportunity to be genuine and transparent.  I like facebook and love instagram, but when it comes down to it I am never going to share a picture of me with a bad hair day, or when my child brings home a bad report card, or whatever else negative. There I will post cute pictures, with my cute kiddos, and cute puppies (Ok, so I don’t have any puppies, but you get the picture). I am not in any means against fb, instagram, or pinterest- they have been a blessing to me many times in different ways. 

I am thankful for the times when I get a note from a friend like the one below. My friend Mandie Mass sent me this in January of this year, and even now several months later, I often look back at this email when I question whether I should keep on blogging. It is a reminder that I will never fully know how God can use my story to reach someone else that I will never meet or even know about.

January 14, 2013: 

By the way, Andrew’s story keeps on bringing God glory and encouraging others, as I myself have shared it with more than one unbeliever and struggling or straying Christian. I actually just shared it on my plane ride home yesterday with a woman who grew up in church but hasn’t stepped foot in one in years. She told me she had seen the most beautiful rainbow at the beach that day. It prompted me to tell her how about Andrew and how rainbows are special to you because of that, like God is reassuring you through seeing them. 

On a coincidental note, last night as I was working on this post, Mandie was also working on a blog post. She wrote a beautiful entry here, totally worth reading.

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On another note- We had our first foster placement this last week and it has been very challenging but rewarding. I'm still processing it all and working through what to share and not share. I hope to share more about it soon. 

This post has been closed for comments but if you'd like to share something please email me at carolinabriggs@gmail.com.

Weekend at Grandma's

A few weeks ago we visited my mom in Jupiter, South Florida. I went with the boys since Steve had a lot going on at work and we left early on Thursday. They are undergoing some renovations in their house so we ended up sleeping in their RV outside the house. Sure the boys stayed up late, and it was total chaos at times, but it was totally worth it and I am thankful for my mom getting up with the boys early in the morning.

I've been meaning to post these for a few weeks and am just now getting to them... We had a wonderful time visiting her and her husband Danny, it's been a while since we've seen them and the boys really enjoyed it! Wishing they lived closer to us...

Visiting the Loxahatchee Wildlife Rescue

Looking at the bears

Dinner with the family- mom and Danny

Out to breakfast

At Cool Beans Café in Palm Beach Gardens

Both of the boys really enjoyed it!

Guest Bedroom.

The day we found out we had officially gotten our foster license, we began working on re-decorating our guest bedroom. I wrote about this a few posts back and wanted to share some before and after pictures of the room. It's not done yet, but we are very excited about how it's turning out!

Before:

 

 

 

While working:

 

We painted the furniture using Annie Sloan chalk paint original white. Because it is such a light color we ended up putting on three coats. There is a lot we learned about the paint (like consistency, waxing, techniques, etc). The pieces didn't turn out perfect and it was a LOT more work than I thought it would be, but am happy how they turned out.

 

Thank you to my sweet friend Laura and my sister in law Jessi, for helping us paint this furniture. It was a huge help!

 

 

 

 

Steve and his friend Larry painted the walls a darker grey (Sherwin Williams Network Grey) and it turned out just as we had hoped

  

 

 

 

Our dear friends Larry and Bethany who helped us paint

 

 

 

After pictures:

 

The crib we had bought a few years ago and kept at Steve's dads house for when Jack would sleep over there. We haven't used it very much lately over there and thought it would be much needed here. One day I hope we can get a white crib to match the rest of the room! But for now it will do :)

 

 

 

 I orrdered the prints below from Etsy's  Poster Pop Shop. Very highly recommend them. I had ordered two prints before for my sister in law a few months ago and lost them just a few days before her graduation. The owner sent me the prints again at no charge! She was really good to work with and was able to make these prints, each one representing a member of our family.

 

Steve loves playing softball and baseball.

I debated between 'Sewing On' and 'Blogging On'.

Although I don't do either as often as I'd like, they are two of my favorite things to do.

Jack loves anything sweet.

And Palmer smiles all the time. It was between 'Grin On' and 'Smile On'.

 

I am so happy that these prints will hang over the walls where I hope many children and family guests will sleep. I think it gives the room a more peaceful feel to it and compliments it well.

 

 

The curtains behind the dresser are from target and I love, love them! The only bad thing is that they are not black out curtains so a lot of light can still get in the room. One of my next projects is to get darkening material at Joann's and sew it on the back of the curtains.

 

The white frames for the prints I got at Walmart for $3 each and painted them with Chalk Paint. They were originally gold and black.

 

We still need to get a rug, another set of curtains, and a comforter set for the bed (Which I am really wanting to get!!). We are holding off for now but hope to get them over the next few months.

 

We have not have any foster children come through our home yet. We are currently working on a placement with our FDS worker but will probably not share much until it actually happens. We are waiting patiently, excited, nervous, and praying for God's will and His timing over all of this.

 

Have closed this post for comments, but would love to hear from you at carolinabriggs@gmail.com if you have something to share.