Last week the boys wrapped up the school year and to be
honest I was sad. When they were toddlers I couldn’t wait for them to get older
so they could feed themselves (and you know wipe their own butts!) but now that
they are getting older I really wish I could freeze time.
Jack finished 3rd grade and Palmer 1st
grade and both truly had a great year. Now that Jack is older he got to attend
a school wide 3rd-5th grade ceremony in which he was
given a few awards- for Honor Roll, Math, and Regional Spelling Bee.
As we were sitting there that night waiting for his awards my heart was so proud of him. And it was at that very moment I felt God quietly whisper that this was not about me. The recognition Jack was receiving that night was not a reflection of me being a good parent or having gotten things right. My kid’s success at school or sports does not define my success as a parent. When they get into the college or get the job, my heart so easily can take credit for their journey in life as if it was my own. And then the opposite takes place too. When my kids don’t make the team, they don’t make the cut, or don’t get the awards their peers get, then I can so easily feel like a failure. But God’s word reminded me gently that night that I can’t live life being defined by my kid’s successes or failures. They will have both in life and I will certainly be in a crazy rollercoaster if my identity is tightly wrapped around them in that way. My identity (and their identity) should have a solid foundation in who God says they are despite the fleeting moments when they succeed or fail. And I have faith God will use both in shaping them into the men and women he desires them to be.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all about cheering our kids on
and being proud of the hard work they put into things. But in this particular
time and particular instance I was taking credit for something that has always
come so easy for Jack. The truth is we didn’t work hard this past
year and yet he still breezed through 3rd grade. His awards were his
own that night and part of the story God is writing out in his life.
I read the books ‘Shaken’ by Tim Tebow (it is written for
young boys by the way but I read it anyway because I was given a few copies it looked AWESOME) and he says
it so well in this book (by the way I highly recommend it for boys 10 years
or above):
Tim Tebow says it so well in his book ‘Shaken’ in which he
says:
Who are you when everything
is going great- when you’re acing the classes, winning the games, part of the
in crowd, when your life is picture perfect?
Now who are you when
your world is shaken- when you’re barely passing your exams, your parents are
fighting, your boyfriend or girlfriend leaves you?
What do you do when
your world is shaken? What do you do when your plan falls to pieces? What do you
do when your life is going in a direction you do not want it to go to? Better
yet what do you hold on to? I knew in that moment I had to hold on to truth. It
was the only solid ground I had. I had to remember what God said.
Though I was disappointed,
I was trying so hard to bulk up my confidence. Not in myself. Not in my
athletic abilities. I was drawing inner strength from the One I belong to. In
the one who created me. In the One who loves me beyond all love.
Well said Tim Tebow. Well said. You may be a Gator but you're ok with me.
Tim met God in a new way in the midst of his failure. It wasn't an easy journey after that and despite all the praise he received for so many years, he slowly had to figure out who he was in the midst of continuous criticism from the press that lasted for years too. What a great example to our teens and so thankful he took the time to write this book!!
My prayer for our kids is that they won't be afraid of failures and that they will not become prideful in their success. I hope that I will be their biggest cheerleader along the way, reminding them that at the end of it all our stories are not all about us getting the praise or glory, but it is about God is and the story he writes out in our lives.
