Along with the rest of our country, my heart breaks when I
think about the pain the parents who lost their children last Friday will be
going through these next few months. To know that there will be days when their
arms will physically hurt from longing to hold their children so badly. That
there will be days when they will look forward to going to sleep and dread
waking up in the morning. And that there will be mornings when waking up, they will briefly expect their children to
come running into the room, and suddenly realize they live in a reality when
their children are not there. And they will weep.
My friend Leigh Ann shared on facebook last week something that stuck
with me. To simply pray and that sometimes that is all we can do. This past weekend seemed to fly by with
Christmas parties and activities, and yet my heart continually pondering on the
tragedy that happened on Friday.
Saturday night after getting home from a play at church, I sat down in
the couch with my sister and simply prayed.
Pray that these parents, family members, and orphans will
eventually know that they were not forsaken, abandoned, or forgotten. Because
they will absolutely feel that way some days, and they will wrestle with everything
they’ve believed in up until that point.
Pray that they will not turn to alcohol, drugs, or any other
type of addictions to mask the pain as it will be very tempting at times. But
instead that they will choose instead to turn to God because He is the only one
that can comfort and heal their broken hearts.
Pray that they will be able to listen to God’s truth even
though their emotions may be telling them otherwise. This is the best time for
the enemy to attack and he will certainly try.
Pray that in God’s miraculous way He would bring beauty
forth from ashes, turn their mourning into dancing, and work all things for the
good of those who love him.
It’s hard to believe in a loving God when the unthinkable
happens. Although anyone can hypothesize, rationalize, and come up with reasons
on why this happened, nothing will ever make sense when weighed against the
death of an innocent child. Nothing. And
I believe that it’s ok to wrestle and have these questions as long as we
continue to take them in prayer to God. After all He is the only one in the
universe that has the answer.
I have asked myself countless, probably hundreds of times, where God was the day I held my 10 day old son as he was taking his last breaths. And looking back, I know, that I know, that I know that He was right there present in that NICU room. I don’t know this because I read it in the bible, or some pastor told me, or it’s something I’d like to believe to make me feel better. I know it because I felt peace and comfort that night that surpasses all understanding. Because it was a holy and precious moment that could not be overlooked by a loving God. A God who has time and time again shown His love in many different areas of my life.
I believe in a good and loving God even through the
unfairness and brokenness of this world. There is no promise in the bible that
we will be shielded from pain, sickness, or death. All the saints experienced
it, Mary experienced it, and even Jesus himself.
But there is a promise in there that one day ‘Every tear
will be wiped away’ and that the pain we are going through today will remotely
be a distant memory. Oh how I long for that day! Today I am clinging to the many promises of
redemption, healing, and beautiful
things springing forth from the darkest of circumstances.
Birthday Weekend
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
This is a short post about our past weekend. We started off Friday visiting Steve's grandparents Memaw and Bepop. We have been trying to see them for a few weeks and have been unable to, so I was absolutely thrilled to finally have the chance. Bepop has been in and out of the hospital, but during our visit he felt great and we really enjoyed our time with them.
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| Jack and Bepop fixing (or breaking) things |
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| Reading to Jack |
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| Having fun playing the piano |
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| This one is blurry, but would've been oh so cute! |
Saturday we took it easy and spent time together as a family. Saturday afternoon we went to Davis Island on a picnic with our friends the Shahs. It was a beautiful day outside although a little windy. But it was perfect!
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| Picnic time |
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| Hanging out with daddy |
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| Running around |
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| With Palmer, Kindra, and baby girl Shah :) |
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| So sweet! |
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| Love him!! |
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| Making Jack laugh |
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| Kicking the ball around |
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| Strolling wagons around |
We truly had such a fun time that afternoon. We were going to go out for ice cream afterwards, but Palmer turned into a pumpkin and we ended up going home.
On Sunday my sweet friend Laura made me a birthday cake. It was delicious!! I can't remember the last time I had a homemade birthday cake, so I really appreciated it. Steve and Jack ate it up :)
Sunday night my father in law made a fancy steak and lobster dinner to celebrate my birthday. I don't have a picture of it, but we enjoyed having dinner with Steve's family that night.
It was a wonderful birthday weekend! I am most grateful for another year of health and getting to be a mom to these baby boys. I thought of Andrew, as he is my ever present reminder to not take another year for granted.
Amazon Finds
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Here is a list of grocery/household items we buy from amazon regularly (As well as some I've been eyeing for some time). I used the images directly from amazon, but I have been told as long as I link it back to their page it is ok to use them.
If you click on the item name highlighted on the left, it will take you to the amazon link.
Organic Coconut Oil
My dear friend Becky gave me this as a baby shower present when I was pregnant with Palmer. And I have to say I have ended up using this for everything!! It is a great ointment during those first few weeks of breastfeeding (works SO much better than lansinol and it's much cheaper too). A tub comes to $7-$8 and it lasted me for about 6 months using it everyday. I have also used it on my hair (helps with dry brittle hair) and it can also be used for cooking. Have never used it for cooking though :)
Organic Agave
Wild Rice
These come to about $.17 per oz and it is much, much cheaper than buying a new Mrs Meyers handsoap at the store.
Miracle Greens
Steve drinks something very similar to this called 'Living Fuel' and this is much cheaper than that. We might give this a try instead of the one he currently takes. Pretty good price at around $50!
Annie's Organic Fruit Snacks
I have been dying to buy these for Jack, but about $.67 cents per bag I still think they are too expensive!
There is also a lighting deal I have missed twice- 48 rolls of toilet paper for $15, when its normally sold for $45 on an amazon.
Would love to find out of any other good amazon buys. If the price is right, I love that it saves me a trip to the store and it is delivered in a few days to my front door.
If you click on the item name highlighted on the left, it will take you to the amazon link.
Organic Coconut Oil
Organic Agave
My friend Paula introduced this to me when I went to visit her in North Carolina. It is a great substitue for sugar when baking and instead of syrup. We mostly use it with Jack whenever he has oatmeal or waffles. We pour some in a little medicine cup, which he then pours himself on his plate and LOVES it. This amount will last you for about a year or so- it is a ridiculous amount of agave. I recently saw this at Walmart for a similar price so that might be a better way to go.
I've already mentioned Quinoa in a previous post. It is less than half the price of Publix or Target, and it's organice and pre-rinsed. Love this!
Now here is a list of items I haven't bought yet and are on my wish list...
Very rarely does brown rice go on sale at Publix. This item can be purchased at $19.89 for 192 oz which comes to $.10 cents per oz. This is a few cents more expensive than the Publix brand brown rice, but cheaper than any other brown rice. It's organic and better quality, might give it a try here soon!
These are spanish lentils- much better quality than the Publix brand ones! And they are about the same price, I have never seen lentils go on sale. I love lentils- they are a great grain and inexpensive overall.
Wild Rice
This had excellent reviews, it's organic and glutten free. However it is more expensive than brown and spanish rice at $.18 cents per oz.
These come to about $.17 per oz and it is much, much cheaper than buying a new Mrs Meyers handsoap at the store.
Miracle Greens
Steve drinks something very similar to this called 'Living Fuel' and this is much cheaper than that. We might give this a try instead of the one he currently takes. Pretty good price at around $50!
Annie's Organic Fruit Snacks
I have been dying to buy these for Jack, but about $.67 cents per bag I still think they are too expensive!
There is also a lighting deal I have missed twice- 48 rolls of toilet paper for $15, when its normally sold for $45 on an amazon.
Would love to find out of any other good amazon buys. If the price is right, I love that it saves me a trip to the store and it is delivered in a few days to my front door.
Thanksgiving
Sunday, November 25, 2012
(I wrote this on Thursday, but didn't get a chance to post it until today).
Today is a day of thankfulness. Although I have been purposely sharing with Jack all the things I'm thankful for, my heart is in a different place. This morning I woke up tired after not sleeping last night and frustrated at my six month old for his fussiness and lack of sleep over the last three weeks. Oh how some days I wish he would've been an easier baby.
I've thought about my friends who have really enjoyed their babies... But I've also thought about those whose babies are sick or not doing well. I have a friend whose five month old baby boy is in the hospital and is undergoing life-saving surgeries. When I compare myself to those who have more I'm discontent. When I compare myself to those who have less I feel blessed. But that's not the way it should be. It's not the way God intended me to be thankful by looking to my right or left. I keep coming back to this verse "I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid" John 14:27.
But there is more unthankfulness than that. Last weekend I realized how unthankful I was feeling about our house, when someone gave me a compliment on how pretty it was and I responded with 'Really?'. I was surprised at my own choice of words. As most of you know we have been looking at purchasing a house for a while. Looking at all these bigger, nicer houses hasn't had a good impact on my thankfulness.
And there is more. These past few weeks we have been bombarded with black Friday ads. For those of you that know me, you know that I coupon and love to find a good deal. However I have been spending way too much time figuring out where to find the the best deals, and it's interesting how even 'finding a good deal' can become an idol. This afternoon instead of spending it looking through newspapers and missing out on that time with my family, I hope I can simply enjoy being with them. Now I am not saying that couponing or finding food deals is a bad thing, but personally it has taken too much of a priority and has planted seeds of discontentment.
Last night in our hotel room, Steve, Jack and I stayed up late watching a fishing show on National Geographic. Jack was so excited about being in a hotel room that we let him stay past up his bedtime and we watched TV together. At one point during the show he turned an said to me in a very serious tone 'Mommy, you should go to Walmart, they will meet at your shopping needs' (On a side note earlier on the night, he came in yelling in sheer excitement 'Mommy, there is a toooilet in here!!)
Today I can truly say I am thankful for Grace. God's grace when I fall short of being thankful.
If anyone should get 'gratitude' I feel like it should be me. After all I know the pain and longing of not having a child, and I wonder how some days I can feel so cranky and not grateful for the day to day challenges of being a mom. And last year I wrote 'Multitude Mondays' where I wrote down 1,000 things I was grateful for (yes really 1,000 things!). I took down each day to appreciate every little thing. I am just in disbelief on how far I have come the other way this year.
But I know I can't change myself or how I feel at times, only God can change my heart and how I feel. That is why I'm thankful I don't have to 'improve myself' in this area or try on my own human effort. I can come to God in prayer and confess my shortfall and sin. And I know He forgives me and does not look at my in dissapointment. I can rest in His grace and move forward from there.
This verse sums up for what I'm thankful for today.
"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:4-9
Today is a day of thankfulness. Although I have been purposely sharing with Jack all the things I'm thankful for, my heart is in a different place. This morning I woke up tired after not sleeping last night and frustrated at my six month old for his fussiness and lack of sleep over the last three weeks. Oh how some days I wish he would've been an easier baby.
I've thought about my friends who have really enjoyed their babies... But I've also thought about those whose babies are sick or not doing well. I have a friend whose five month old baby boy is in the hospital and is undergoing life-saving surgeries. When I compare myself to those who have more I'm discontent. When I compare myself to those who have less I feel blessed. But that's not the way it should be. It's not the way God intended me to be thankful by looking to my right or left. I keep coming back to this verse "I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid" John 14:27.
But there is more unthankfulness than that. Last weekend I realized how unthankful I was feeling about our house, when someone gave me a compliment on how pretty it was and I responded with 'Really?'. I was surprised at my own choice of words. As most of you know we have been looking at purchasing a house for a while. Looking at all these bigger, nicer houses hasn't had a good impact on my thankfulness.
And there is more. These past few weeks we have been bombarded with black Friday ads. For those of you that know me, you know that I coupon and love to find a good deal. However I have been spending way too much time figuring out where to find the the best deals, and it's interesting how even 'finding a good deal' can become an idol. This afternoon instead of spending it looking through newspapers and missing out on that time with my family, I hope I can simply enjoy being with them. Now I am not saying that couponing or finding food deals is a bad thing, but personally it has taken too much of a priority and has planted seeds of discontentment.
Last night in our hotel room, Steve, Jack and I stayed up late watching a fishing show on National Geographic. Jack was so excited about being in a hotel room that we let him stay past up his bedtime and we watched TV together. At one point during the show he turned an said to me in a very serious tone 'Mommy, you should go to Walmart, they will meet at your shopping needs' (On a side note earlier on the night, he came in yelling in sheer excitement 'Mommy, there is a toooilet in here!!)
Today I can truly say I am thankful for Grace. God's grace when I fall short of being thankful.
If anyone should get 'gratitude' I feel like it should be me. After all I know the pain and longing of not having a child, and I wonder how some days I can feel so cranky and not grateful for the day to day challenges of being a mom. And last year I wrote 'Multitude Mondays' where I wrote down 1,000 things I was grateful for (yes really 1,000 things!). I took down each day to appreciate every little thing. I am just in disbelief on how far I have come the other way this year.
But I know I can't change myself or how I feel at times, only God can change my heart and how I feel. That is why I'm thankful I don't have to 'improve myself' in this area or try on my own human effort. I can come to God in prayer and confess my shortfall and sin. And I know He forgives me and does not look at my in dissapointment. I can rest in His grace and move forward from there.
This verse sums up for what I'm thankful for today.
"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:4-9
An Important Message
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
As most of you know my husband is an insurance
agent for Allstate. I’ve never written much about his business, so this is
going to be a different type of post than what I normally write. But I think
the overall message is important and applicable.
A few months after Steve and I got married he brought up the idea of getting life insurance on each other. I remember being taken back wondering why in the world he would want to get life insurance. We didn’t even have children! I immediately thought of the Lifetime movies in which a husband takes out life insurance on his wife, only to take her on a remote trip from which he is the only one to come back from alive. I thought to myself if he asked me to on a ‘trip’ our first year of marriage, I would refuse. Period.
I argued with him against this for some time. I did not think it was important but he strongly felt the opposite way so I finally gave in. Thankfully I am alive seven years later, so perhaps he didn’t want to get rid of me after all? :)
Because Steve is in the insurance industry he has a different perspective than me when it comes to these things. For example, there is the story of his dad’s client who came every month into the office to make his insurance payment. His dad would often talk to him and ask about his family, but never asked about life insurance. One day he came in and informed him that his wife had passed away. His dad thought about the many opportunities he had missed to recommend life insurance. And he’s always regretted it. He wishes that he would’ve at least given him the chance to say yes or no.
It’s been seven years since we first got life insurance. Now being a mom of two boys (and one in heaven) I realize how important it is. I’m very thankful Steve has taken care of this because it’s not something I like to think about. In the past I’ve rationalized that it’s rather morbid to plan for the worst. After all who likes to think about the scenario of something tragic happening? I’ve even believed getting life insurance would bring some type of ‘bad luck' along the lines of if you plan for the worst, then the worst is more likely to happen. So it's better not to think about those type of things, and nothing bad will happen. Well I wish that was true. Sadly unexpected things happen whether we have a backup plan for it or not.
My reason in writing this post is to share how I used to think life insurance was unnecessary and how my perspective has changed. It’s important enough to at least be talked about with our spouses.
If you decide to look into life insurance or have any questions feel free to contact my husband Steve. His work email address is sbriggs@allstate.com and his office number is (813) 681-5303.
On a side note, my hubby writes all types of insurance- car, homeowners, renters, etc. Not just life insurance.
If you contact him make sure to tell him you read my blog :)
Will be posting my favorite amazon finds later on this week!
A few months after Steve and I got married he brought up the idea of getting life insurance on each other. I remember being taken back wondering why in the world he would want to get life insurance. We didn’t even have children! I immediately thought of the Lifetime movies in which a husband takes out life insurance on his wife, only to take her on a remote trip from which he is the only one to come back from alive. I thought to myself if he asked me to on a ‘trip’ our first year of marriage, I would refuse. Period.
I argued with him against this for some time. I did not think it was important but he strongly felt the opposite way so I finally gave in. Thankfully I am alive seven years later, so perhaps he didn’t want to get rid of me after all? :)
Because Steve is in the insurance industry he has a different perspective than me when it comes to these things. For example, there is the story of his dad’s client who came every month into the office to make his insurance payment. His dad would often talk to him and ask about his family, but never asked about life insurance. One day he came in and informed him that his wife had passed away. His dad thought about the many opportunities he had missed to recommend life insurance. And he’s always regretted it. He wishes that he would’ve at least given him the chance to say yes or no.
It’s been seven years since we first got life insurance. Now being a mom of two boys (and one in heaven) I realize how important it is. I’m very thankful Steve has taken care of this because it’s not something I like to think about. In the past I’ve rationalized that it’s rather morbid to plan for the worst. After all who likes to think about the scenario of something tragic happening? I’ve even believed getting life insurance would bring some type of ‘bad luck' along the lines of if you plan for the worst, then the worst is more likely to happen. So it's better not to think about those type of things, and nothing bad will happen. Well I wish that was true. Sadly unexpected things happen whether we have a backup plan for it or not.
My reason in writing this post is to share how I used to think life insurance was unnecessary and how my perspective has changed. It’s important enough to at least be talked about with our spouses.
If you decide to look into life insurance or have any questions feel free to contact my husband Steve. His work email address is sbriggs@allstate.com and his office number is (813) 681-5303.
On a side note, my hubby writes all types of insurance- car, homeowners, renters, etc. Not just life insurance.
If you contact him make sure to tell him you read my blog :)
Will be posting my favorite amazon finds later on this week!
Fall Festival and Trunk or Treat
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Jack's preschool had a fall festival on October 31st. Steve and I went and walked around with him that morning. It was so well planned out- they had about 10 different booths with activities and crafts with the kids. I was impressed, although sadly Jack was very tired that morning and didn't enjoy it as much as he normally would.
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| Jack and his awesome preschool teacher :) |
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| Excuse the bag under my eyes- was up three times with a teething baby the night before! |
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| Reluctantly loving the chicafila cow |
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| His FAVORITE activity that morning |
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| I guess the boys didn't get the memo they were supposed to look at the camera! |
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| Bean bag toss |
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| Class picture |
In the evening we went to 'Trunk or Treat' that the church Beallshoals puts on every year. We like it because it starts early (Palmer turns into a pumpkin at 6:30pm) and there aren't really any dark/scary costumes.
We met our friends the Mattachiones, Jordans, and Parhams that night.
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| Best shot of all the kiddos |
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| Had to share this because it made me laugh- Oh no the sunlight! |
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| This was Jack's one year old costume, surprisingly it fit Palmer at 6 months!! |
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| Going around the trunks for candy |
Jack was not interested in candy at all! He kept begging us to go to the bounce house, and after long enough we stopped 'trunk or treating' and spent most of our time in the bouncehouse.
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| With his partner in crime Roman, a yellow and orange M&M |
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| Bethany with Isabelle |
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| Picture with Katie |
We had a really nice day and we were exhausted by the end. Did not go around the neighborhood, but happily welcomed some trick or treaters that night. Ummm... now what do dress them up as next year? :)
My Kitchen Style
Monday, November 12, 2012
Anyone that knows me, knows that I am not a baking kind of gal. I'm intimidated at the thought of baking anything that requires eggs, milk, and some type of vanilla extract. The other day my friend mentioned Conrnstach to thicken something, having no idea what it was used for I nodded my head pretending I knew it what it was used for.... :)
On the other hand I work really hard at cooking healthy meals for our family. We don't eat a lot of processed foods and I use as many wholesome ingredients as possible. I love to cook with fresh garlic, herbs, grains, etc. Unfortunately most of this food doesn't go on sale at Publix regularly so it's easy for it to get expensive. I still coupon at Publix for basic things but I'm really picky at what I coupon for (Specially after seeing the movie Food Inc. and In-greed-ients).
Thankfully I've found a lot of grains are sold in amazon at a much cheaper price than anywhere else. The produce is the most expensive part of our grocery bill, but that is something I just have to deal with for the time being. After it's all said and done it's pretty manageable and it can be done on a budget
Here are a few of the meals we have regularly...
Quinoa with sundried tomatoes, mushrooms, and parsley
Quinoa with tomatoes, onions, cilantro, and lime juice (Not pictured)
Whole grain pasta with mushrooms, and olive oil
Fish with brown rice (not pictured)
Here are my favorite finds which go on sale regularly
Marzetti's all natural dressing (Any Publix)
Love that there's no high fructose corn syrup or any other synthetic ingredients. This is normally $3.69 at Publix per bottle, but this past week it was on sale 2 for $2, and I had a $1.25 off coupon. So the dressing came to $.75 cents!!
Mueller's Organic Chicken (Select Publix stores)
Not all Publix stores carry this chicken. This is one of the few things I buy organic, and I think it is SO worth it! The chicken always tastes soft even if I overcook it a little bit. It often goes on sale for $3.99 per lb, otherwise it's $5.99 per lb
Earth's Best Organic Chicken Nuggets
Best tasting chicken ever. I steal it from my son when he's not looking. Enough said.
We don't buy organic produce because of the cost. We usually don't buy organic meat or milk either, but whenever I can- I do buy organic chicken and eggs.
I'm not dead set on only eating whole ingredients. There are plenty of times when we eat out or days when we don't eat healthy at all. I just wanted to share what we usually have at our house and what I strive for most of the time :)
Will post next Monday on my favorite amazon finds.
On the other hand I work really hard at cooking healthy meals for our family. We don't eat a lot of processed foods and I use as many wholesome ingredients as possible. I love to cook with fresh garlic, herbs, grains, etc. Unfortunately most of this food doesn't go on sale at Publix regularly so it's easy for it to get expensive. I still coupon at Publix for basic things but I'm really picky at what I coupon for (Specially after seeing the movie Food Inc. and In-greed-ients).
Thankfully I've found a lot of grains are sold in amazon at a much cheaper price than anywhere else. The produce is the most expensive part of our grocery bill, but that is something I just have to deal with for the time being. After it's all said and done it's pretty manageable and it can be done on a budget
Here are a few of the meals we have regularly...
Quinoa with sundried tomatoes, mushrooms, and parsley
Quinoa with tomatoes, onions, cilantro, and lime juice (Not pictured)
Whole grain pasta with mushrooms, and olive oil
Fish with brown rice (not pictured)
Here are my favorite finds which go on sale regularly
Marzetti's all natural dressing (Any Publix)
Love that there's no high fructose corn syrup or any other synthetic ingredients. This is normally $3.69 at Publix per bottle, but this past week it was on sale 2 for $2, and I had a $1.25 off coupon. So the dressing came to $.75 cents!!
Mueller's Organic Chicken (Select Publix stores)
Not all Publix stores carry this chicken. This is one of the few things I buy organic, and I think it is SO worth it! The chicken always tastes soft even if I overcook it a little bit. It often goes on sale for $3.99 per lb, otherwise it's $5.99 per lb
Earth's Best Organic Chicken Nuggets
Best tasting chicken ever. I steal it from my son when he's not looking. Enough said.
We don't buy organic produce because of the cost. We usually don't buy organic meat or milk either, but whenever I can- I do buy organic chicken and eggs.
I'm not dead set on only eating whole ingredients. There are plenty of times when we eat out or days when we don't eat healthy at all. I just wanted to share what we usually have at our house and what I strive for most of the time :)
Will post next Monday on my favorite amazon finds.
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